I honestly do not know the answer to that question.
I don’t know if I am or not. Recent signs have pointed to “yes,” but other signs still say “no way.”
There’s this duality to my personality. Is it possible to be both laid back and control freak? Because I think I am. I have a messy room yet am crazy organized at work. I can handle delegation to me, yet prefer not to delegate to others when I can get it done myself. I need to have something fun scheduled to do every weekend, yet when I have too much I start to feel overwhelmed and possibly start blowing things off.
Could it just be that I am terribly stubborn about some things? Some things that really matter and others that, in the large scheme of things, are utterly unimportant?
Or am I such a control freak that I control losing control–that is, I set up certain situations so that I have no control and therefore am in control of my not being in control? (WHAT?!)
Whatever it is, I don’t think it’s been a problem in my life and has actually helped me in some aspects (namely work), but I can’t help but think I could be preventing myself from some opportunities by drawing the reigns in a bit too close. And in others I have given myself way too much slack.
For now (famous words by me), I will just let. it. be.