“Old”

I didn’t think I would have a hard time turning thirty. I really didn’t.

But then the new year came and that changed.

I don’t know quite what it is. It’s not so much feeling “old”–it’s rather a sense of not being “young.”

Like: I shouldn’t be going out so much! I’m almost 30!

Like: I shouldn’t be listening to this music! I’m almost 30!

Like: I shouldn’t be doing multiple outfit changes at this after hours at my house! I’m almost 30!

It’s not: I’m almost 30. I need a baby.

It’s not: I’m almost 30. I should change my investment strategy.

It’s not: I’m almost 30. I should start using a facial strategy.

How I can best sum it up is this: I feel less invincible. Not that I ever felt exceptionally invincible–I’m a bit of a wimp and I understand and fear consequences.

But a little part of me must have believed I could go back and change/relive things. That those nights of driving country roads in my underwear and walking around the villas looking for parties could just as easily happen this weekend. They can’t.

There’s a reason people are considered creepy when they stick around in a college town past their time (and still hang out with just college kids).

I swear I’m not creepy.

I’m just getting “old.” (But I’m still fighting it.)

***

just write

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One thought on ““Old”

  1. Elaine says:

    I feel this too, it’s funny because a part of us always feels younger than we are, I think. I’m going to be 37 in less than two weeks and I’m feeling my “late” 30’s. But I wouldn’t go back for any money, so that’s good… :) Enjoy your 30s… they are pretty great, promise.

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