There’s this invisible line somewhere on our lives that changes everything. It can be a wide line–a thick boundary like the Mississippi River–or as undetectable as a precinct line. But it’s there. There’s this invisible line and you usually don’t even know you’ve crossed it until you’re well over on to the other side.
I don’t know where I am. I do, but I don’t. It’s like I’m wading in a murky river, toeing the line or straddling it. I can still see both sides very clearly, but I have this pressing feeling one side will soon be farther than the other.
It’s like this: you’re a kid and you enjoy friday movie nights at home with your family. Then you reach a certain age and staying home on a Friday is the last thing you want to do. Then you’re to the point where you can’t remember the last friday night you spent at home, and then suddenly you’re craving it again.
It’s a bell curve, pretty much. (Bell curve courtesy of Economics Help.)
And now I realize this sounds like I’m talking about middle age, but I’m not. I’m not there yet. This is something else, so similar yet so different.
This is growing up.
Some hit that line sooner than others, by sheer will or circumstances out of their control.
And then there’s me.
It’s not an issue of maturity vs. immaturity–I get that. But priorities and comfort and contentment. It’s what stimulates you and where you find your heart taking you.
I’m still figuring it all out. I tend to over-think things (when I’m not making rash decisions, that is).
It’s that point where going out becomes sad rather than fun (I’m not there).
It’s that point where renting gives way to home ownership (I’m not there).
It’s that point where running a mile becomes a chore (I’m there).
It’s that point where you learn to pick your battles (I’m getting there).
And maybe it’s not so much a single point but a set of points that together form a line and maybe that line isn’t a straight line and maybe that line doesn’t fall in the same place for every person. I’m getting that.
But the line is there and someday I’ll know I’ve passed it (be it by swimming, by air, by digging, by walking, or by closing my eyes and running as fast as I can through it).
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This post was written as a Just Write exercise. A good challenge to get the rust off and find my creativity once more. Bear with me while I attempt to find it!
Check out others’ Just Write posts here.