grace /grās/: Simple elegance or refinement of movement.
* * *
I sat across from her today and was brought back to the last time I sat before her–when she had to deliver the news and I felt the crushing weight of knowing I had failed someone who I had such a strong respect for, someone for whom I had fierce loyalty. And I remembered how as those words dropped I quietly composed myself, hands folded on my lap, and looked her in the eye and said I understood and thanked her.
Today, we were both the epitome of grace in that funny, comfortable, awkward way. It was needed. I may have let her down, but I hadn’t let her down. There are no grudges on either side, only grace. And laughter. And much needed chit chat.
Some days I still struggle with pettiness and immaturity. I struggle to fight back mean words or speculation that would have no role but to stir things up and replace respect with distrust or annoyance. I won’t pick fights for the sake of picking fights or sweat the small things.
Now, I try and think things through so I can properly communicate just what it is that is bothering me. If I say it to myself and it sounds hypocritical or juvenile, I sleep on it.
It’s not perfection and it’s still a learning curve. And it seems each week there is something new I am learning to hold back or refine. (And this isn’t a lesson in swallowing my words or wallowing–it’s a lesson in finding the best way to express these things.)
I’m getting there.
* * *
This post was written as a Just Write exercise. A good challenge to get the rust off and find my creativity once more. Bear with me while I attempt to find it!
Check out others’ Just Write posts here.