Revisitation: How to Remember Someone Fondly

Originally published December 12th, 2004, via LiveJournal.

Do you know what’s really great?

When two people end a relationship, they usually end up thinking the worst of each other. (And usually this is after about a two week period where they TRY to remain “just friends” and they find that it doesn’t work.) This ends up destroying all of the beautiful memories that they had of each other. All they can think of when they think of the other person are all the bad times…the fights, the tears, the inconsideration.

And, I mean, that’s really great and all…

But what is even better is when you can remember the good through all the bad. Sure, they “are a dick now” (and this view will usually change to oh, they’re alright in about a year or so), but we also had some good times. I try to carry at least one overly positive memory with me from every failed relationship I have been in, to “keep it real.” And yes, FAILED relationships. If they had been anything but “failed”, they would be going on yet today. And even for the pseudo-relationships or hook-ups that ended badly: there is still at least that ONE really good memory that you can look back at, to keep it alive in your head that “hey, we associated with each other because we TRULY enjoyed each other’s company at one time.”

With Mike, I remember this time at a party Erik had when Mike was really drunk and I was pissed. (I didn’t drink and was very against it…HA HA HA). I was so mad at him, but then we were standing by the pool and that song “Shimmer” by Fuel came on and all of a sudden he smiled really big and grabbed me. He pulled me out by the gazebo and made me DANCE, while he had this huge smile on his face. And the gazebo was all lit w/ white christmas lights and that was cool. For Chad, I remember that time when we were in the “what is our status stage?” and we were outside of his house and his neighbor was outside and she asked if he was my boyfriend and he said yes, and then looked at me smiled. Lame, but they are those kind of moments. And sad but true, just about every moment with Terry was a good moment.

And then this brings me to my next tangent:

I am having a really hard time grasping the idea of commitment now. When I was in highschool and early college it made sense: I like you! You like me! We should be together! BUT WHY?!??! It seems really lame to me now. I can’t imagine being committed to just one person unless I am “in love” with them. If you aren’t “in love” or see “a forever future” with someone, then why the hell be with only them? I remember in highschool when I heard “Popular” by Nada Surf I was appalled by the “one month limit to going steady.” But now I am appalled with the idea of being committed to someone for a long time when you aren’t in love or can foresee a future with them. AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I suggest a two-month limit of dating, and if you aren’t in love with them by that point, slow it down and see other people! God!!! What is the point in restricting yourself from meeting other people if you’re not sure you love the person you are with or can’t imagine spending at leat 5 years with them?!??!?!?!?!??!?!

* * *

About this post: When looking through my old LiveJournal for new Flashback Friday fodder, I found this post and felt it stood alone and was worth revisiting. This is something I will do from time to time. I made no changes to the original content other than removing someone’s last name (google searches are a bitch).

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One thought on “Revisitation: How to Remember Someone Fondly

  1. Jenni says:

    I heart you.

    P.S. I also heart “Shimmer”.

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