I dreadfully regret to inform myself that I am getting old and my priorities are changing.
What I am talking about here, specifically, is music.
When I was younger, particularly while in college, music was life. Common musical interest was the basis for my friendships and attraction. Music was always on and I was always discovering new bands or new reasons to listen to old favorites. It was the age of the “scene kids” where your scene (emo, hardcore, twee, metal, goth) defined you. “Hipster” wasn’t so much a term thrown around like it is today, though looking back I know of at least once scene that would be what we today call hipsters.
Fortunately I have grown from that scene mentality and have evolved into being more open-minded. But that doesn’t mean I want all the magic of that era to be gone.
One of the disadvantages (meant in the most loving way possible ever) to my part-time job is working with high schoolers. There is very little common ground and vast differences in maturity/work ethic in most cases. Then there are the constant reminders that I do not fit into that world anymore.
Last night, one of my coworkers (17 years old) was commenting on the repetitive Christmas music and stated this was torture for her as music is her life. And when she said this, she had such a look of seriousness on her face and I could see tears forming as she passionately talked about the bands she loves and the instruments she plays.
At some point, I lost this.
I lost this feeling that music is all and music is the golden standard.
Nowadays, I find myself listening to the pop station while in my car because it easier and mindless. I seem to only discover music through happenstance or having it handed to me by friends. I’ve asked others how they keep up with music and the answers I’ve been given make it seem more like a job than a pleasure bringer.
What happened to the joy of discovery? Is it really this much work for a grown up with a job to find new music?
When it comes down to it, I realize my priorities have shifted. Whereas in the past music was essentially my #1 priority, now it isn’t even ranked. Not that I don’t still genuinely love and care for music, but I’ve got other things to worry about. I can’t spend all my money on new releases and forgotten treasures. I can’t stay out late every night catching bands in town or travelling to neighboring cities to catch shows. When I get home from work, I don’t want to spend my time scouring blogs and reviews to find something I might like. I mean I want to, but I really don’t want to.
Just another part of growing up we never thought would happen but find ourselves in the middle of and wondering how we got there.