Creative Death.

Now here’s the part where I admit I have a crippling fear of coming off as “trying too hard.”

I love to write, but God forbid I write something that looks like I put any real effort into it. Hence the favor for stream of consiousness or spur of the moment revelations. Unless, of course, it’s an academic writing. But that’s a whole different story.

I love photography, but God forbid I shoot something purposeful. Hence the “photoadventures” where I drive or walk somewhere and just shoot whatever I come across. God forbid I do extensive editing/altering after-camera, so the vast majority (like 99%) of my work I share comes straight from the camera. (Or maybe I’m just a purist?)

I love drawing, but God forbid I spend time getting something just right. Hence the scribbles.

Once more I am probably repeating a message I have already shared on this blog, but who cares. This is what I am feeling–thinking–right NOW so this is what gets put down on “paper.”

Creative types: Any help to this problem? Is it so bad to take yourself seriously? Is it so bad to try or put effort in something? What can I do to stop editing myself from even trying? I’ve had some ideas lately but this fear of coming off as “trying too hard” stops me from action. This cannot continue.

Maybe it’s a confidence issue, or maybe it’s a laziness issue. I’d promise to be better, but wouldn’t that be trying too hard?

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One thought on “Creative Death.

  1. Dan says:

    I’ve struggled with these exact feelings all my life – with music and visual art. You’re afraid to put something out there that you’ve actually worked until you’re happy with it. Because if you’re happy with it and someone else tells you it sucks, you’re scared you’ll stop all together. And your art is important to you, so you don’t want that.

    Lately I’ve come to the realization that no matter what I create, some people will like it (hopefully) and most people will hate it (definitely). It’s not a reflection of my abilities. Some people will hate it because I did it. Some people will hate it because it reminds them of that one time when they were a kid. Some will hate it because they don’t like the color red. Some people will hate it just because they’re hateful.

    Today I try to push myself to make the best art I can. It’s really really rewarding for me, personally. There’s so many people out there that are so much better than me. I know that and I can’t change that. I’m sure every artist whose work blows me away feels the same way. Actually, if they didn’t, that’d probably make them pretty shitty artists.

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