confessions.

There have been some changes but I have been taking them all in stride. Almost causing me to wonder: just what is my breaking point?

I have to admit I think about you more than I should. It’s like I can’t remember how bad about myself I feel after I see you. Selective memory, except I haven’t really forgotten.

And now it looks like this really, REALLY bad thing that happened to you is going to turn your life around. You’re going to get all those second and third chances from the world. You’re going to make things right with yourself.

But meanwhile I started sinking and I started flailing. I never thought this would be the situation, but here it is. This thought is terrible but it’s in there. And I need to face it: I never thought I’d be the one (at least in this situation) that’s flailing.

Messages go unanswered and everything gets better on your end. Maybe once the comparisons stop and I see clearly again I’ll be the one not returning the messages. (But that way of thinking is what has caused this whole mess.)

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Tell Me How You Really Feel

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