I admit it: I’ve been fighting adulthood every step of the way.
I think a big part of this is that not only am I the oldest of my siblings, but I’m also the oldest cousin on both sides (granted, the one side has no cousins). I’ve had no “big sister/brother/cousin” to look up to for indicators of when to grow up. It’s all up to me.
The cousins I do have are all quite younger than me, the oldest being 19 (or maybe 20). My sisters are 18 and 24. Where do I fit in? Sometimes I’m seated at the kids’ table. Other times, I’m right there elbow-to-elbow with the “adults.” Do I crack open a beer, or do I sneak it around? I seem to have a harder time drinking in front of the “adults” than my younger siblings and cousins do!
However, I have noticed some signs that I am slowly but surely slipping towards adulthood. No, the fact that I live on my own, own my own car (so my grandparents had to cosign for it, whatever!), and pay my own car insurance are not what I speak of.
No, instead I am speaking of things like the fact I have consistently used the same perfume for two years with no thoughts of switching. I’ve found my favorite fabric softener. I have a preferred brand of deodorant (although I have switched the scents up a bit).
I am becoming a creature of habit in the arena of scent. When I think of my sets of grandparents, I immediately connect them with the scents of their homes. Am I establishing my trademark scent? Does this make me “old”?
What I do know is that I am going to continue fighting this good fight against being “old.” I can age all I want to, but I will not become old before my time! I will continue mixing up my deodorant scent! I won’t hang wooden ducks in flight on my walls! I won’t buy an RV! I won’t wag my finger at anyone! I won’t plan trips to Florida!
There . . . I think I’m done convincing myself.