The Unit

I have this drive to be fiercely independent, yet I want to know that I will always have someone who can be there for me, should I need it.

Does this mean I use people?  I don’t really think it comes to that, but maybe I am prone to bouts of taking people for granted or pushing them away?

I hate when I am automatically lumped in with someone.  This happens and fills me with rage when I go out and someone asks, “Oh, where is so and so?”  I HATE THIS.  I don’t want to become so predictable that any time I am out I am expected to be with the same people.  I want to be my own person, my own attraction.  I want just being me to be enough.

Sometimes I fight it when I start to feel like I am being grouped in a unit.  I’ll start to be a bad friend, I’ll try to go out and do my own thing, I shut myself off.

Yet there are the times where I have the desire to be part of a “group,” just not necessarily stuck in a group.  I want to know there is someone/some group that will be there for me when I, well, have nothing better to do (as horrible as that is to admit).

How can I be so “independent” yet feel this need to always be able to have someone there?  Am I just stubborn, or do others feel this way?

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One thought on “The Unit

  1. Candice says:

    Maybe you just find predictability annoying? Like I sometimes get annoyed when someone says/does something that I know they will say/do – even sometimes find myself getting annoying just thinking “oh I bet they’ll say this”. Of course I am just really moody.

    But, I feel ya.

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