If you look back on my entries from a few months ago, you would notice a theme of “my life is boring and I need to do something about it.” You would also notice me mentioning wanting to write more, but needing to live in order to have something to write about. (See, e.g., this entry).
Well, I’ve taken myself up on those promises to myself. I’m not content with spending every night in, or having the same routine every weekend (call the boys, be lazy, maybe go to a bar). I’m making new friends with different backgrounds from myself. I’m sleeping less. I’m saying “yes” more. I’m not eliminating possibilities because I think I might make a mistake or not like the end result. We all mess up, we all face embarrassment, we all get hurt–so what?
I spent (wasted) so much time the past year “playing it safe.” What do I have to show for it? Maybe I could say the clear conscience of someone who was living a clean, sound life. But that’s just fancy talk for someone who is boring and unmemorable. I used to be exciting! I used to be fun! I used to make new friends easily! So, I opened up all those doors again and I am exciting! I am fun! I do make new friends easily!
I don’t care if I’m too tired during the day from staying up all night anymore. I spent almost two years going to bed by ten every night and it was still hard to get out of bed in the morning–I’d rather enjoy myself if I’m going to be sluggish in the morning no matter what. I was a blurry figure in the background, and now I’m ready to live life like a blur.
I’m not going to sit around waiting for the “perfect” opportunity. I’ll be curious, I’ll be adventurous. I’ll make things happen. I am making things happening.
At the same time, I need to make sure to keep from repeating past mistakes–too much indulgence, too little learning. Mistakes are great, but not if you never learn from them.
It’s like they say: NO PAIN, NO GAIN. Well, all I’m saying is: BRING ON THE PAIN.