Ninety percent of the time, I absolutely hate ham. I hate the idea of it, the look of it, the taste of it, the smell of it.
It’s not that I have a problem with pork–I actually love pork. I’d almost say it’s my favorite meat. No, wait. I will say it–pork is my favorite meat. I love bacon. I love BBQ pork. I love tenderloins. I love porkchops. You get the point.
But ham? HAM?!?!?! No thanks.
My favorite pizza topping is pineapple. And, of course, people always assume I want ham with my pineapple, or “canadian bacon.” Ick ick ick. And I despise ham on pizza to the extent that I won’t even pick it off–it’s residue will RUIN the entire pizza, rendering it unsalvageable.
Another favorite food? HASHBROWN CASSEROLE. Probably the best food item on earth. But, again, people tend to RUIN it by putting chunks of diced ham in it. Ew ew ewww. And, once more, the ham chunks render it inedible. Instead of tasting cheesy potato-y goodness, all I can taste is salt and essence of ham. No thanks.
But, get this–I love ham steak. Fried in a pan, with a little brown sugar. So good. It’s one of those foods I crave maybe two or three times a year and enjoy very much so when I do eat it. Why do I like ham steak, which is HAM, but hate lunch meat ham or chunks/cubes/diced ham? I REALLY DO NOT KNOW.
And then, once in a blue moon (or actually much less often than that–more like a leap year), I crave the unthinkable–lunch meat ham sandwich on a hamburger bun. Today was one of those days. And it tasted soooo good. Tomorrow the idea of it will probably make me vomit. No joke.
I never crave chunks of ham in an otherwise competent food item, though. NEVER.
Perhaps one of these days I will understand my bizarre love-hate relationship with ham. But for now, I will let it continue to baffle me.