Wishful Thinking

I wish I still wrote as freely as I once did.  Law school has transformed me to be a better technical writer, but in exchange did I lose my honesty and the tone I had established beforehand?

I found this writing that I did on May 10th, 2003, and I thought I would share an example of the way I used to write and the way I would like to go back to writing:

days like these i could just spend in my socks and my underwear minus the socks minus the underwear plus the comfort of a big down blanket plus the windows open and that would be just fine and i wouldn’t try to improve the situation or sabotage it but i will try to pretend i am not alone and i will try to pretend everything is okay; i am okay with myself and with my head and with my heart and with my empty arms. violence will not evolve into love. love will not evolve into emptiness. this is not another cycle, this is finitely repeating n times. days like these i want only for an icecream cone and rollerskates and ribbons in my hair and a smile on my face as i skate on past you just before i drop my cone onto the hot concrete and watch it melt–watch the liquid fill the cracks and spill over onto the road onto the grass and towards something better. i always watch things slip out of my hands and run towards something better. i can never have that last taste my mouth has been aching for. i’m always left with sticky hands and stains on my clothing and my heart and my feet and my mouth and everything. days like these i long for something ordinary instead of something so faraway.

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